Can you relate to me in this?
Sometimes I feel like there’s just so much to take in in my quiet time in the morning… especially when I’m in a good season; the Word is alive to me, there’s some consistency/discipline, wrestling seems to have purpose. I’ve been super encouraged by 1 Peter 5 lately (“cast your cares” chapter), the book of Deuteronomy (SOOO much good stuff in there- been my first time to revisit in a couple years I think), and Psalm 63.
This morning, though, when I sat down on the couch with my coffee (yes, that’s #1 on the list, especially if I’m gonna have Jesus-time in the morning), Bible, and journal, I felt the wave of a million different directions hit me. I leafed through the past week in my journal and realized that I’ve been EVERYWHERE in my thoughts, focus, meditation in the Word… even in one single morning. It’s like I have quiet time A.D.D.! In all seriousness, though, it’s been GOOD, but not very focused. I haven’t really lingered anywhere in particular. And sure, sometimes, and somedays, you don’t. But as I was looking through the scribbled pages of my recent journals, I felt this deep, strong need for simplicity and a pause.
More specifically, reading the next chapter in Deuteronomy, then Psalm 63, then 1 Peter 5, then whatever else caught my eye wasn’t the order of the day… or this week.
So, I wrote on the fresh page of my journal under the 6/21:
“Okay… so, where do I go?”
And I really felt His leading towards Psalm 63.
I’ve been stuck there for the past week off and on, and even in THAT chapter, there are so many different things addressed. So, since I recently diagnosed myself with spiritual A.D.D., I decided to stick with the first verse this morning.
O God, you are my God; EARNESTLY I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
It was so difficult for me to stay put at Psalm 63:1. Then I looked up “earnestly” and tried to dig in to what that really looks like in my life… to earnestly, whole-heartedly, seriously and sincerely seek Him. Press into Him. Lean on Him. Call for Him.
And then, a very, very simple and profound thing hit me… it happened when I finished my dictionary.com search of “earnest” and reached for the tall glass of icy water that I was craving. Not just wanting, but craving. In case you need me to explain the intensity of my word choice in that, here it is:
1) I live in Texas.
2) I’ve always thought it was hot here in the summer.
3) Now, since I’m 8+ months pregnant and in the Texas summer heat, I think this is pretty close to what hell feels like.
4) That makes me very thirsty.
5) And crave watermelon.
But I digress…
As simple as it sounds, and was, reaching for that glass, and then looking down at my Bible and seeing that line “where there is no water” suddenly highlighted by the Holy Spirit… I realized that this portion of time, this rest stop before my unpredictable day began, was (and always is) a big, tall glass of icy cold water for my very, very (even when I don’t realize it), VERY thirsty soul. And I’m foolish to think that at any other point in my day, in any other direction I’m facing, or with any other person I’m encountering, that there is going to be true water there.
Whether you live in Texas heat or not, you and I both live in a world — and an increasingly desensitized culture– where there truly is NO water.
Can I just leave you there? …I so badly want to ramble on, but I think I should stop there. I think I need to, for myself, even. I want to dwell on that truth and let my Bible-over-familiarized heart grow in affection for the only One who quenches my thirst. To value Him as the source of my refreshment. To even EARNESTLY seek for Him in the moments I can, because in every other moment, I am facing a world in a dry and weary reality without Him.
I’ll leave you with these beautiful words that Jesus spoke to a Samaritan woman at a well one day. I think they’re for us, too.
A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” … The Samaritan woman said to Him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.)
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and Who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”
The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us this well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and livestock.”
Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”