Present.

It goes without saying that it’s been a WHILE since I’ve blogged. Whatever component of someone’s personality that makes them a “blogger”… maybe I just don’t have it. I was telling Shane the other day, if I could just sit on the couch with all of you individually, with a cup of coffee and a couple of hours of conversation- that’s what I’d prefer. Or even to just copy and attach my semi-daily journals onto a blog post. But, when I think about blogging: i.e., at least thirty minutes spent in front of a computer screen during a free moment in my day, two thoughts come to mind:

1) When it’s been a long time, it’s kind of like laundry or dishes for me… if I’ve been consistent, it’s no big deal. But when piles of dirty dishes or dirty laundry are sitting there, staring at me, I can feel a bit overwhelmed. Where to begin?

2) I’ve really been struck lately with my need to be present… hence, the title of this post… and, I don’t know if you can relate with me, but Twitter/Facebook/texting/emailing/and, yes, blogging, can sometimes serve as a sometimes unhealthy “escape” for me from the mundane, every-dayness of being a stay-at-home wife and mommy.

All of that said, though, I’m excited to be back. : ) I think I just need to look at this in a simpler way… if you’re into it, that is… I think short and sweet blogs might be all that I can offer in this season, but I think that’s okay. In fact, I think it’s going to be GOOD for me! The Lord has been speaking so much to me in these past almost five months of being Lucy’s mommy… and, yes, most of those things make it onto the pages of my journal… but I do feel a burden and desire to share it with you. The call to encourage my brothers and sisters in Him has been a loud one recently — and it’s fleshed out in having people over for dinner, swinging by friends’ houses for lunch or just to say hi, etc… but I think another sweet way for that to be manifested is right here, in blog-world. So, here we go!

First off — I LOVE being a mommy. Love, love, LOVE it. And I love being Shane’s wife more every day. The past couple of mornings I’ve just thought on that… those good, good gifts from Him. I can’t even really wrap my mind around what blessings (in the greatest sense of that word) those two people are in my life. Yes, I am blessed beyond the walls of our home, definitely- an amazing family, friends, community, church. But, my every day consists of those two sweet people: Shane and Lucy. And I love it.

Buddies.

September 25, at my sister's wedding ... sure love those people!

So, here’s been the gentle, needed rebuke for me from the Lord lately: be PRESENT. Savor. Enjoy. Delight yourself in Me. Be SATISFIED with what I’ve given to you from my hand. It came the other day when I was sitting on the couch, nursing Lucy, and simultaneously watching the news, and checking Twitter on my iPhone, mindlessly scrolling through everyone’s 140-charactered updates. In those few seconds, I looked down at Lucy and thought about how quickly she’s changed in four and a half short months. It’s true (someone from church told me this the other day) that with babies “the days are long, but the years are fast”. The few hours I’ve been awake today already feel long… but the past five months have flown by.

What a treasure Lucy is!

What a joy to see her face light up when I pick her up in the mornings… to make her laugh… to meet her needs… to get to kiss all over that sweet, chubby, perfect face.

And, no, Twitter isn’t evil. Watching the news isn’t evil. But, in that moment (and in His voice echoing through the rest of my moments after) I realized that I’ve been using silly, temporal, mindless things like those to escape. To have a breather. To “tune out” of the mundane moments like nursing Lucy for the thousandth time.

And, you mommies know, there IS a need for rest, refuge, and escape sometimes… but am I preferring those things over truly being present in what He’s given me? Am I turning my days into even more of a blur from staring into screens throughout my day rather than sitting in the quiet sometimes… turning everything off… and taking in the faithfulness and goodness of God?

I know all those thoughts are packed full, and need to be unpacked in more than one short blog… and I’m sure they will be : )… but I just wanted to share with you on this Friday morning what’s been challenging and spurring me on into deeper things with Him — to refuge in Him, and still be present in my days of being Lucy’s mommy and Shane’s wife. Those things are infinitely greater of worth than dividing my attention constantly with TV, social networking, and even activities outside the home. I want to grow in what it means to truly, deeply, gratefully enjoy all that He’s provided in this season … because this season won’t last forever!

Hopefully that all makes sense and resonates with you. I’ve been feeling gentle correction from the Lord in a lot of areas lately, but that has been the biggest one! And I’m so thankful that He IS calling my attention to it. There is so much coming up that I will want to look back on and know I fully enjoyed.

Namely: the annual Thanksgiving get-together next week in Ohio with my mom’s side of the family. : ) I can’t TELL you how excited I am for that! And I promise a blog will be coming about it! There are always stories to tell about my crazy family…

Well, I hope you have a lovely, lovely weekend! And that your eyes will be opened even wider to ALL that He is doing in the every-dayness of your life! Know you are loved by Him and rest/escape/refuge in that … I’m fighting to, as well!

Your unbloggery blogging friend,

Beth